The Yoga of Going Live

I have been meaning to write this post for awhile. Originally, it was going to be a simple promotional post about my new YouTube Live series, DailyFlow Ten-Minute Mornings. For the past three weeks, I have either been live or have posted a ten-minute practice to YouTube every weekday morning at 8.

But as I reflected on my own evolution in these weeks, I felt like I had more to share. So let’s go back…

My Ego Made Me Do It. And it Made Me Quit.

I haven’t made any videos in a long time. Honestly, it’s because I was disheartened. I was spending a decent amount of money renting studio space every week, hauling my camera bag and Amazon lighting equipment down, plus hours editing and sharing and promoting for what turned out to be a handful of views. (Except for a few outliers, most of my videos garnered between ten and 100 views. Zero comments. No shares. No engagement.)

My ego was bruised, and I felt defeated. I had dreams of sharing these videos and suddenly being Yoga with Adriene. I would have hoards of adoring followers who couldn’t wait for my new video to launch. I dreamed of angry emails from people who wanted to know WHERE THIS WEEK’S VIDEO IS!! I would be so well known and so popular that I’d be invited to lead retreats and seminars in fabulous International locales and people would notice. Or care.

Finding the Yoga

I have told my yoga-roots story many times: getting a Yoga for Dummies DVD while I was in grad school in the mid-90s. So for 30 years, off-and-on, I have been practicing some kind of Vinyasa Yoga. I loved and sought out teachers who also included “the spiritual stuff” in their classes. I loved the focus on breath, connection and self-acceptance: being fully present with where I was.

I even made a shirt that says “It’s never about the shape.”

If it’s not about the shape, then what is it about?

One of my teachers says “it’s about creating the conditions for the shape.” Can’t stand on your hands? Who cares? You place them correctly, you put your weight on them, you use props, you breathe. And eventually — maybe — your feet come off the floor. Or maybe they never do, but you’ve still gotten the benefit of the practice.

I wasn’t letting myself have that process with DailyFlow. I was creating the conditions by making the best content I could, but when the metaphorical “shape” (views, clicks, engagement, followers) didn’t come, I was spiraling in an all-too-familar way. I felt completely ashamed and demoralized. Like a fraud.

So what shifted?

This go-round, I decided that I’d commit to do these Ten Minute Morning videos for three weeks. Initially, I thought I was doing it to see if they would catch on or get views. I was setting myself up for the same cycle I’ve repeated every time I’ve started a project or set a goal because odds are three weeks of even the most outstanding content probably wouldn’t have made my little channel blow up.

Then, in concert with my therapist, I just… changed. “What if,” he proposed, “it’s just an offering?”

I don’t know what took me so long. Sometimes, I guess, you just need someone else to say it.

I am sharing my practice, and it is my humble offering to you. All of you. Whoever “you” are. If nobody sees it, I have still put the energy into the world that I want to see. And, ultimately, that’s all any of us can do.

The practice — not the result — is the point.

So I do hope you’ll join me, but if you never do, that’s okay. All I can do is make the offering. How it’s received (and by whom) isn’t up to me.

Nothing that appears in this blog or on this website is intended to treat or diagnose any disorder, physical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before beginning any exercise program.