It’s easy to confuse “anger” with “losing your temper.” They’re obviously closely related, but oftentimes when we really fly off the handle, it’s a bigger insight into what a trigger might be. Triggers are often shaped when we’re quite young, and we don’t have the capacity or resources to handle mistreatment — especially if it comes at the hand of an adult.
These seemingly-insignificant things can fester over years and, like a popcorn kernel stuck under the gum line, become infected and irritated and hyper-sensitive. There is hope! Once you recognize the source of that trauma — an inciting incident, as it were — it will begin to dissipate. Like a salve on that tender tooth, you might still get mad, but you’re less likely to completely fly off the handle.
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