I think the word “boundaries” is thrown around way too casually.
Having, knowing, defining and defending clear personal boundaries is crucial if we’re ever going to grow, but there’s a difference between setting a boundary and just not feeling like doing something. As we all know, I encourage you to embrace the Power of No, but a boundary — to me — is something much more significant. A boundary protects us from rehashing and reliving the same trauma over and over again.
But do our boundaries also hold us back?
Does the barrier that protects us from others create a prison of our own design?
By being clear with ourselves and the folks around us about where “yes” ends and “no” begins, we are creating space for true joy! And by pushing ourselves beyond the barriers we’ve created, we can live our most authentic lives.
Monday : Set Intention
I think “boundary-setting” is overused. Not because we do it too much, but because people think that anything that makes them a little uncomfortable is a boundary. I believe we set boundaries when we need to protect ourselves from trauma, meaning that someone is mistreating us, taking advantage of us, or behaving in a way that is harmful to ourselves, themselves or others. But we set some “boundaries” that actually limit our growth; that create a security zone we never want to breach. What if we push beyond that? Use this time of journaling/intention-setting to reflect on where you need to create limits with others so that you can have more space to live your most authentic, least selfish life — and then shift to consider ways you limit yourself. Ways you fence yourself in!
Tuesday : Slow Flow
Just because a sequence is a little slower/more gentle than others doesn’t mean it can’t get your heart pumping! We take our time to build up a sequence of lunges (Anjaneasana) and vinyasas that culminates in a one-breath-per-movement flow that will leave you energized. It all ends with some gentle bridges (Setu Bandha Sarvangasana) and a brief rest (savasana). Save and repeat this sequence on days when you have a little time but want to get in a good stretchy flow.
Wednesday : Meditation
Do you ever wonder why the same things upset you over and over again? Why the same behavior from different people or in different circustmances continue to arrise?
We need boundaries to help heal the wounds of our childhoods. That frustration and anger might be your own inner child crying out for help. So listen!
Imagine little five-year-old you. Sitting there, upset because someone at school bullied them or teased them or just made them feel less-than. Would you go to battle with the other five year old? Would you call their parents? Maybe. But you would definitely hold and love that child in front of you. Can you do that now? Can you hold yourself? In today’s meditation, we ask that child what upset them … what is making things so hard, and we try to heal that wound. Or at least recognize it.
Thursday : Mindful Hack
If you find yourself getting caught up in someone else’s drama — something that isn’t even about you — simply say “I do not receive this.” If you have to, say it outloud to them: “I do not receive this. I love you, feel free to share what’s going on, but know that I don’t really have the space to hold it right now.” I’ve done it, and it works!
Friday : Athletic Flow
Be a Warrior! Warriors aren’t always in battle. In fact, the best warrior is prepared and brave, but she knows that she needn’t “prove” it. She takes up space. She is strong. And she is confident enough to trust that she can protect herself when she needs to. This powerful warrior sequence uses several Virabhadrasana poses to explore our own power as we work to honor our boundaries and expand our limitations.
Saturday : Meditation
Do you ever confuse how someone behaves with who they are? Brené Brown writes “when we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attach who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.”
If you fail to respect your own boundary, why should anyone else? Today, we meditate on one (just pick one) area or one person that is causing pain and we create space to see them a little differently. By releasing them from what may be impossible expectations, we can free ourselves to live more fully and authentically.
Sunday : Reflection
Sadhguru is a yogi, mystic, artist and speaker who has made it his mission to bring yogic philosophies into the 21st century in a way that feels relevant and applicable. I stumbled across the quote when preparing this week’s videos, and I love it. I love the idea of “breathing into” our self-created boundaries. Breathing into them both makes them stronger and expands them. If we are forever worried about keeping things out, can we ever let anything in?
Nothing that appears in this blog or on this website is intended to treat or diagnose any disorder, physical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before beginning any exercise program.